Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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