is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
