Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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