Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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