My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize