does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
