Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
