i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize