I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
