I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you mean i was at the winter classic?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
