Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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