Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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