The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize