And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
