And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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