It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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