I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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