just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
