oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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