she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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