i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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