So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
