Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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