There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
