There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
