How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize