yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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