its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
