The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
