Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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