There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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