I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
