I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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