I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
