I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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