I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize