So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
