Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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