i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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