So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
