I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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