So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
