yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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