OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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