Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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