Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
