You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
