I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
