Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
