Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
