Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
