Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
