I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
