I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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