If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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