He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
