halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
