i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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