38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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