Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
