It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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