do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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