Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
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Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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