he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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