We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
