problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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