I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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