I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
