I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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